Both a day of joy and sadness

As the month of September approaches, I always look forward with great sadness to the date of the  30th. 

It was 9 years ago today that our sweet little family of three held our little angel baby Lucie in our arms. She would not spend her mortal life on earth with our family. She had a great responsibility she had to perform. 

The same feelings that I felt on that day seem to resurface as her birth and death date approach. Feelings of sheer sadness and emptiness. A hollowness in your heart that wont ever be filled. And a deep longing to hold your sweet baby in your arms again. I remember leaving the hospital and not being able to stop crying because I missed her so much and I wanted to be with her. The hollowness in my heart has not been filled. I truly long to be with her. To see her standing with our other 5 kids and to know who she is and the kind of person she will become. I don't think the sadness and longing will ever go away. I think it will always be a part of me until I can hold her again in my arms. 

But, because of the Atonement, this day of sadness has also become one of joy. Joy because I know that I will see her again. That she will be reunited with our family. And that I will hold her in my arms again. Because my Savior took part in the Atonement, I will be allowed to hold her again and she will be able to be part of our family. Death is not the end. I know this. I can look forward with great joy to the future, that our family that I look at now as not whole, will one day be complete. 

Complete because Christ loves each of us.

 Last year was a hard year for me. It was the year she would have turned eight. I couldn't even do a post because  it was too heartbreaking for me. My great friend, who lives in NY, somehow pulled this off. I loved it. I never got to post it. 

At Lucie's graveside service, we had one of my old bishops speak, who had also lost a baby. I remember him saying that anniversaries would be hard, especially with baptisms, weddings, etc. It was a hard one. But I wanted to include this picture.

Elder Todd D. Christofferson said this; "Simply put, the good news is that death is not the end of existence and our separation..is temporary. We have a Savior, Jesus Christ, the divine Son of God, who by His Atonement has overcome death and hell so that all will be resurrected and all ...may have place in the heavenly kingdom of God forever."

Because of this knowledge, my day of sadness can also be my day of joy because of Christ. His love can fill our hearts to help us overcome our trials and hardships. I am sure of this. We will see our Lucie again. I love knowing that we are an eternal family. I love that the temple blessings give us the hope of joy into the eternities. I look forward with great anticipation for this day! It will be a day of joy! Our family will be whole. 

washington dc marathon day trip

so, Thursday daddy had the day off, so we decided to go to DC to the temple. It was nice. i got to go in while C entertained the kiddos at the park. i love going to the temple. 

we also went to cafe rio mmmmm, trader joes, the DC Zoo, and a delicious frozen yogurt place. We ended it with a very late night stop at Costco. We pulled in at 9:45pm

It was a long day, but it was so great to be together as a family.

All the kids at the zoo

 g imitating the tri-ceratops

 posing on the bear

 b hitching a ride

 C hanging out

 huge tortoise they were luring inside

it was a funny day at the zoo. there weren't a ton of animals out. we saw a cheetah and a seal and some animals inside the reptile house. it was about 80 degrees and kinda humid. 

but couldn't have ended the night better, frozen yogurt. mmmmm.

things that people say

People keep saying that you will miss this when its gone. really? the messes? do grandparents really look back and say, i sure miss having baby wipes spread all over my house multiple times a day or how bout ' i sure do miss changing poopy diapers. man, those were the good ole days. really my peeps?

BUT what I will miss are these two sweet little faces and their cute little laughs, b's little raspy laugh and c's high pitch chuckle.

yes, i will miss this. playing in the tent and sneaking up on them and tickling them. yes, i will miss this. 

  i will miss this, but not the runny noses.

Baby C

Baby C is getting SO big. feeling not so much like a baby lately. It seems like every time I look at her, she changes. 

She really is such an easy going little one. She is pure joy

She fell asleep in her car seat, eating popcorn. I love that her hand is still in the cup.

 She is getting very independent and has started climbing on the radiators to look out the window. Then she gets stuck and screams til someone 'rescues' her. She was so happy, this time daddy was just getting home from work and she got to see him peering through the other side of the glass.

 She has started toddling around everywhere. I love her little chubby legs and seeing her little wobbly legs trying to keep up with older siblings.

 She is so sweet!

walks

We have been enjoying the weather lately, loving fall, these two love to go for walks and collect leaves and flowers. B likes to drop his down drain grates and C likes to eat hers.

all about the accessories

B has added an accessory to his wardrobe. a pink ballerina purse that is stuffed as full as it can get with trains. choo choo

he takes it everywhere!

a couple of pictures

One thing the kids did a lot of when we were in Utah was 4 wheeling. Dad took them up here one day on a drive. They loved it.

Our niece blessed her baby and B couldn't wait to snitch some cookies and treats during the prayer

Love this pic of Baby C and her cousin peeking at each other through grandma's window.

 family picture right before leaving utah

do you ever find yourself in precarious positions?

B has!

 What I get when I ask a two year old to clean up his mess.

one of our many trips to costco. (we were buying for the outer banks, not always this bad!)

 Grandma and Grandpa went to alaska and the kids were super excited to wear their new shirts

Outer Banks baby!

Last year we headed down to the outer banks in North carolina. and we couldn't WAIT for our trip this year.

Of course on our way out, we saw an amish buggy

and we got stuck in traffic while people got ready for their mud run

 we got to the house and the kids were busy exploring. b found the shower and covered himself in soap

 he also got into vaseline and chocolate. at least he hasn't changed being on vacation

 we arrived sunday afternoon and had an hour to kill before we could check in, so we took the kids to the beach. the waves were ginormous! There was a hurricane way far out in the ocean and it was producing some amazing waves, rip tides and strong currents.

 a tiny jelly fish

 the kids loves being back on the beach and searching for the perfect sea shells!

we told the kids they couldn't swim, but i don't think anyone made it to the cars dry. who can resist a perfect ocean?

so glad to be back!!!